simeone says

I started the Sexual Assault Awareness Month Series on my blog because well, I wanted to raise awareness, duh.  I wanted to change the way we talk about rape and to me, that starts with changing the way we think about rape. I recognize that “we” may only be the couple hundred Facebook friends I have or, more realistically, the couple tens of those friends who read the links I post.  Still, if I could post something that caused any one of those people to think differently about sexual assault by teaching them something they may not have known, then that would in turn change the way they talk about it and they would, in turn, have that effect on the couple tens of people that they know. While the primary goal was to reach people who were previously “unaware” of the issue, I was also hoping to help other rape victims think differently about themselves.

I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t know who you are anymore or if you will ever be the “before” version of yourself anymore. I also remember what it felt like the first time I finally had someone whose story I could relate to.  Long before I ever reached out to her, she helped me.  Even though she was a stranger, she helped me because knowing her story changed the way I thought about mine.  I began to think to myself, “my life isn’t over, it’s just different now.”   At the time I didn’t realize just how different life would look two years later and I’ve talked a lot about how much of an up-and-down journey it’s been, but this single thought got me through every “down”.

For anyone reading this who may be a survivor, that is what I want you to know.  Your life will be different, but it doesn’t need to be bad. The only person who gets to decide what you do with that experience is you.  You get to decide how you let this experience affect you and how you use it.  You don’t have to change the world; you can just change your world.   I hope that something you have read here has inspired you to do that, in what every way you see fit.  If you want to start your own blog about your story, do it.  If you want to get involved in your local community in some way, do it.  If you want to finally tell your friend, family member, or significant other about your rape, do it.  If you want to tell no one, but recognize that you finally are ready to seek out help, do it.  If you aren’t ready to get help but want to make the promise to yourself to always keep going in spite of what happened, do it.  Whatever your “it” is doesn’t matter.  It just matters that you recognize it’s within your power to find it.

To anyone reading this who has been a part of this journey over the last two years, thank you for supporting me and helping me do every “it” along the way.   Thank you for driving me around parking lots for three hours while I work up the courage to tell my family.  Thank you for understanding all the times I didn’t feel like going out.  Thank you for “stealing” cars to get me out of the bar when we ran into my rapist.  Thank you for your questions and for your desire to understand.  Thank you for being honest with me about times you felt uncomfortable. Thank you for reading every 2-am “down day” text I sent, even when you’re too busy to reply to them.   Thank you for encouraging me to go through with the idea of this series.  Thank you for everything you do continually and for being in it for the long haul.  I cannot stress enough that everything I’ve been able to do along this journey is because of all of you.

To anyone else who may still be reading this post, I hope you learned something this month.  I also hope these posts encourage you to find whatever issue matters to you and work to change your world.